A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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