Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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