I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
