he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
