I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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