How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize