remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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