WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize