You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
