You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
