Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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