All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
