No more Irish car bombs ever.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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