Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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