Swine flu. Run for my life!
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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