This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
