You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
