he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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