u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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