i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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