Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
