I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
