Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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