My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
