well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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