We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Boobs are out for the taking
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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