is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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