The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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