I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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