I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
