So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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