I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
