He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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