yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
