Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
