if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I have fence marks all over my body
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize