Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize