Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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