I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize