people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
