hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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