you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
