no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
