just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
