Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
