Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
