i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i think im in europe. pls send help
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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