Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
