I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
