one two three fourrrrnication!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
