Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
