my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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