So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I faked an abortion last night.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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