I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
