Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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