I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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