Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
