Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
