You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
