My hand turned me down
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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