Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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