i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
