why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize