Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
