The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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