well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
