Duck Duck Cougar?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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