just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
