I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
it's great music for shaving your balls
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize