$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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