this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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