I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
